A BROWN MAN'S JOURNEY

It's been a long while since my last entry. I've been very busy lately with a lot of planning, and looking forward to a very significant change. Anyway for now, it's joke time once again.

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
4 large eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup nuts
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila

Instructions:
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK. Try another cup . . . just in case. Turn off the miserer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the friggin fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas.

It's just joke time for tonight, I am having a terrible headache since this afternoon. It's been raining all day and the office was freaking cold. Anyway, got this from a mail and it made me smile. Hope it can give the ladies a good laugh. So men, please read on and understand what women actually mean when they say:

1. FINE! - this is the word that women use to end an argument when they think they are right and you need to shut-up.

2. FIVE MINUTES.. - if she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING.. - this is the calm before the storm, this means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

4. GO AHEAD.. - this is a dare, not a permission. Don't do it!

5. (loud) SIGH! - this is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud "sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about "nothing". Refer back to no. 3 for the meaning of "nothing".

6. THAT'S OKAY. - this is one of the most dangerous word that women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS! - when a woman is "thanking" you, do not question or faint. Just say "you're welcome". This is true, unless she says "thanks a lot" - that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. In this case, DO NOT say "you're welcome", that will only bring a "whatever".

8. WHATEVER.. - this is a woman's way of saying F--YOU!

9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT. - this is another dangerous statement, this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong?", then for the woman's response, refer to no.3.